By: Paul S. Cilwa Viewed: 12/13/2019
Posted: 3/3/2006
Topics/Keywords: #Humor #GayRights #GayMarriage Page Views: 3441
We could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
If you don't like gay marriage, blame straight people. They're the ones who keep having gay babies.
  1. Being gay is not natural.
    Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

  2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay
    in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

  3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior.
    People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

  4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasnít changed at all.
    Women are still property, blacks still canít marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

  5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed.
    The sanctity of Brittany Spearsí 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

  6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children.
    Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldnít be allowed to marry because our orphanages arenít full yet, and the world needs more children

  7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children
    since straight parents only raise straight children.

  8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion.
    In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. Thatís why we have only one religion in America.

  9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home.
    Thatís why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

  10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society.
    We could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we havenít adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Obviously, this doesn't address the religious issues some people have on this subject. I'll address those on a future date.