Grand Gala Desert Buffet

I have no idea why the people who run Carnival Cruise Lines think its appropriate to stuff their passengers the way the witch stuffed Hansel and Gretel. I have no idea why people would want to be stuffed that way. And I have no idea why anyone would think it was cool to carve food into irrelevant shapes and to admire the sculptures before eating them. But I have to tell you, I was as admiring as anyone when the chefs on the Legend went all out and created a monster desert buffet with enough food to end hunger in Somalia once and for all. Michael insisted we take the 11:30 pm buffet tour, where we could admire these creations. He then mercifully let me go to sleep while he returned to the main dining hall (Truffles) to gorge himself.

At the entrance to the restaurant, we were greeted by a huge ice sculpture of a sea serpent.

We were then presented with a "title slide" made of watermelon to let us know what it was we were attending…in case there was any doubt.

The center of the dining room, normally taken up by tables, now contained only an enormous long table piled with so much food, "high as an elephant's eye" became the only way to describe it. "Big as an elephant's ass" would be the only way to describe us if we ate all this stuff.

Who'd have thought you could create this kind of sculpture with watermelon?

When they got tired of carving food, they turned to other materials. The cornucopia below was sculpted from paraffin.

Finally, in honor of our presence in the lands of the ancient Mayans, a chocolate Pyramid of the Sun.

Michael came back to the room with three plates of deserts. He'll be working this buffet off for a long, long time.