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A Million Little Pieces Of My Mind

The Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew and the Mystery of the Purloined Quad

By: Paul S. Cilwa Viewed: 4/30/2024
Occurred: 7/11/2021
Updated: 7/16/2021
Page Views: 864
Topics: #Coronavirus #Maui #Quad #Hana
Theft in a small town.

So, Keith and I were waking up to a beautiful morning at Papalaua Beach, where we'd spent the night after some Doordashing in Lahaina, when I noticed a message on my phone. "Do you have the quad?" one of the work traders had asked, referring to our workhorse all-terain vehicle.

"No," I responded. "We're on the other side."

There was a pause. "Shit," she texted finally. "Then it's been stolen."

We need that quad. Not only do we use it to move stuff from here to there on the property, and not only is it the way we bring groceries from the carr to the shed and dirty clothes and garbage from the shed to the car, but, as a 70-year-old with bad Achilles tendons, I require it to get from the car on the upper slope to the shed, and back, as well.

Keith and I had intended to spend another day Doordashing, but we canceled that plan and headed back to Hana.

Meanwhile, Olivia and Rhihanna, the work traders, were piecing together clues. They found a broken penknife near where the quad had been. They followed tracks for a ways. And they enlisted the help of one of our neughbors, Kai.

Kai has lived here in Hana since he was a small boy. He knows every trail through every spot of jungle here. Also, he knew that someone had stolen stuff from two other neighbors in the previous few days. In fact, he thought he knew who.

Jasper is a local character. Technically homeless, he's a meth addict who lives in the jungle. Everyone knows approximately where; few know precisely where.

And we weren't the only ones Jasper had hit. He'd taken a specialized handicapped vehicle from a beloved disabled Native Hawaiian "uncle", and now the entire community was up in arms, ready to light the torches and track the blighter down.

Keith and I went to sleep last night not knowing if we'd ever recover the quad before it was sold or chopped up for parts, which we imagined would be quite valuable on an island like Maui.

However, as we slept, our amateur sleuths kept at it. Olivia, Rhi and Kai continued their search, moving toward Nahiku. Finally, amazingly, and at night…! Kai spotted the quad, upside down, in a ditch. Near midnight, Kai climbed into the ditch and tied his truck to the quad's trailer hitch, and pulled it onto the road as Olivia and Rhi managed to get it rightside up again.

We learned later that Jasper had been driving the quad along Hana highway, careening back and forth and acting like a crazy person, before losing control and crashing into that ditch. Lucky for him he fell off the quad before it landed upside down, or it would have done so upon his head. As it was, Jasper was said to have "nearly died," though apparently not close enough to have needed a hospital.

Amazingly, and despite the physical damage to the quad, Kai was able to start it and drove it about four miles to our property. Keith and I learned all this today when we finally got up.

The police arrived later to close out the report we'd filed yesterday. To kind of extend thanks to Kai, we invited him to a lobster dinner the work traders cooked. We had a lovely evening, with nice conversation.

But, dang! I owe him more than dinner.

Update: July 16th, 2021

A few days later, the handlebar nroke off completely. Now I have to steer the quad with my left hand, while holding the broken handlebar and thumbing the accelerator still attached to it, with the other.