By: Paul S. Cilwa | Viewed: 3/29/2024 Occurred: 7/27/2002 |
Page Views: 1780 | |
Topics: #18-Wheeler #TruckDriving #BigRigs #Schneider #TruckDriver | |||
When not even James Earl Jones can make a video interesting you know you have a problem. |
Saturday, July 27, 2002
Well, I'm halfway through the initial eleven days of training. (On the sixth
day of training, my true love shipped to me…
)
It was a half day. We got up at the usual God-forsaken time, had the
usual taste of thin gruel (actually, this time it was Frosted Cheerios—even less nutritious) for
breakfast, and took the same bus with the same driver (Emmanuel) to the school.
However, from then on it was different. We did modules
—four areas of training, into
which the twelve members of class were divided into four groups to cover. The
first item we covered was how to operate power pallet hand trucks to load and/or
unload our trailers. Not that you'll ever actually get to use one of these,
our morbidly obese instructor, Daryl, pointed out. In real life, you'll be
using hand-operated pallet trucks. But we have to train you in these just in
case, so you won't look stupid if they ever do let you use one.
Then we watched a video, in which the director had used extremely sophisticated
graphics to try and punch up an achingly boring subject. Over a computerized
graphic of a power pallet mover, the words MODULE ONE
spelled out in 3-D
letters, rotated over and over while the Boston Pops played a brassy musical
introduction. After MODULE ONE
settled into place, the name of the module,
INTRODUCTION
spun wildly into view, over and around MODULE ONE
while the
orchestra swelled with enthusiasm. Finally, just when you thought the title
sequence was over, the letters began to sparkle and glow, throbbing in time to
the music, as the orchestra reached its final, triumphant conclusion.
The next sequence, of some guy in blue jeans hauling some boxes on his power
pallet mover, couldn't possibly meet the expectations of the titles, even though
James Earl Jones himself narrated. I couldn't help but laugh as he said, Operating your
power pallet hand truck requires careful planning and diligence
with the same
intensity as his Star Wars line, Luke…I am your father.
There were six modules to the video, each about five minutes long, and every one of them had a similarly overblown sixty-second title sequence.
We also took some time to back trucks with trailers into a narrow slot
between other trucks with trailers, as we'd have to do at a truck stop. That
activity included pulling through the space between two adjacent trucks, with
barely enough room. We all succeeded, but not without a lot of coaching. (Hard
left! Right! A little right! HARD right! Now, hard left!
) The physical exercise
is actually making me feel better than I did before, though some students have
complained of sore legs or thighs (from working the clutch). I actually found
myself squatting fairly comfortably to look under the trailer, something I
haven't attempted to do in years.
After the modules, they did feed us lunch—I wasn't sure they would. I had
some chicken fried steak with mashed potatoes and mixed vegetables. As usual, I
had to pay almost three dollars extra over the $5 that Schneider covers, but it
was worth it. I'm so hungry, this slop seems delicious. Hunger isn't enough to do it for
my roommate, David, however. I used to be a chef,
he declared in his Arkansas
drawl. I saw where they be cookin' the food…now I'm not hongry.
You'll be hungry later if you don't eat,
I pointed out.
I ain' ever goin' be hongry agin,
he sighed, thus inventing a gastronomic
philosophy that might have made life simpler for Scarlett O'Hara.
He lives near here, and so when we got back to the motel his wife picked him
up. You could stay all night,
I suggested, hoping to get the room to myself
for once. Come back tomorrow, since the bus won't be picking us up till noon.
It not that simple,
he said. At home, I have me a sit-u-A-tion.
I
don't know what the situation is, just that it's a shame when a marriage turns
into one. But David will be back tonight around 10.