|By: Paul S. Cilwa||Viewed: 4/22/2019
|Topics/Keywords: #Humor #Politics||Page Views: 3130|
|Sometimes ya just gotta laugh.|
Given the past two weeks' excess of Republican hilarity, I thought it was time to present a few choice bits of political cartoons I've been saving.
The President was tired of hearing he couldn't govern without a mandate. He was also a little confused.
Jay Leno on Larry Craig
"Idaho Sen. Larry Craig, a married, very anti-gay conservative Republican, was arrested by a plainclothes police officer for lewd conduct in a Minneapolis airport men's room. Today the senator's office said it was all a big misunderstanding. Apparently what happened was when the senator went in to use the restroom, he accidentally grabbed the wrong penis."
"You know who I feel sorry for in this whole thing? The undercover cop. How'd you like to have that job? Sit in an airport bathroom all day, your pants around your ankles with a coffee and a donut, waiting for guys to hit on you."
"The police report says [Craig] tapped his foot, which means 'I want gay sex.' And, also means I'll never wear my iPod to the bathroom again."
"Needless to say, Senator Craig is also anti-gay marriage and gays in the military, which I think, shows he doesn't let his personal needs interfere with his work."
"Sen. Craig is married. Apparently he told his wife, don't worry about having dinner ready for me. I'm going to wolf down a wiener at the airport."
"For seven and a half years I've worked alongside President Reagan. We've had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We've had some sex…uh…setbacks."
—President George H. W. Bush (Actual quote!)
Jay Leno on David Vitter
"Louisiana Senator David Vitter held a press conference this week, where he admitted yes, he was a client of the DC madam, but he said those stories of hookers dressing him in diapers were not true. Boy, what do you do there? Are you supposed to take the word of a politician over a hooker? It's a tough decision for people."
"At his press conference yesterday, where he admitted being involved with prostitutes, Louisiana Senator David Vitter apologized to his longtime supporters — the working men and the working girls of Louisiana."
"The darling of the religious right, conservative Senator David Vitter of Louisiana, not only admitted to having sex with prostitutes, he would pay them $300 to make him wear diapers. And today that crazy astronaut lady called him 'my dream guy, he's got my vote!"
"Vitter put out a statement saying he only started cheating on his wife after he started hanging out with the wrong crowd, you know, Giuliani, Newt Gingrich, the mayor of LA."
"Well now more problems with this Vitter guy. You gotta go on his website, he's like Mr. Religious, Mr. Family Values. Well now a second madam has come forward and told the Associated Press that he was also a customer at her brothel. This guy was cheating on his hooker with another hooker!"
"And this madam says that Vitter was not only having sex with the prostitutes — this is unbelievable — he would also pay them to dress him up in a diaper. See, that's what you call a pampered politician. And she also said today in an interview that he sometimes paid $300 an hour just to have the hookers talk to him because his wife didn't listen to him. Well, I bet she's all ears now."
"Family values conservative Republican Senator from Louisiana David Vitter admitted he has had sex with prostitutes. Apparently years ago this Senator Vitter guy had been seeing one of the DC Madam's escorts. You think the Senator's embarrassed? How about the hooker? Now the whole world knows she had sex with a politician, eww."
"The DC Madam says that when she's releasing these names, she's not doing it for political reasons. She says she does not have a political bone in her body. At least not today."
"Here's good news: the FBI has arrested the madam who was in charge of the ring of prostitutes. No word though on Osama."
"When the White House heard about this scandal, they were relieved. Finally, a Republican caught in a sex scandal with a woman!"