By: Paul S. Cilwa Viewed: 5/25/2018
Posted: 8/13/2017
Topics/Keywords: #ManWhoIsn'tThere #Music #Original Page Views: 372
Track 7 from my 1997 album 'The Man Who Isn't There'.

Sure, I now teach programming rather than do much of it myself. And sure, who uses COBOL any more? But I still think, with the right musical motivation, we could do for computer programmers what Johnny Cash did for truck drivers! This song is my contribution to this proposed trend.

I've included links to Wikipedia for the convenience of those who are not programmers and so may not know what terms such as "COBOL" (a computer programming language) and "DO-WHILE" (a group of computer instructions intended to repeat while some condition holds). Just click or tap and the answer will appear!

COBOLin'

By Paul S. Cilwa

Lyrics

Now I am a programmer
I can't believe it's true!
Now my life has everything
But you...

Okay baby, here I am
Five-foot-seven and I've got no tan
But I've got money and a job with glamour
Let me compute you. I'm a programmer!
You're terminal, and it's easy to see
You need programming from me!

COBOLin'! Data entry's not my style.
COBOLin'! Don't delete me, open my file!
You will say that you like it
When we process, bit by bit.
COBOLin'! COBOLin'! Do some COBOL with me.

I sit and type, program all day.
My fingertips have got plenty to say!
And if my logic is too easy and free,
We may be GOing TO it infinitely.
My needs are BASIC, and you're my data type.
So, honey, let us COBOL all night!

COBOLin'! Hate Microsoft and IBM?
Wonder why? Then just RTFM!
You will say that you like it
When we process, bit by bit.
COBOLin'! COBOLin'! Do some COBOL with me.

I've heard it said that computers are cold
. Well, let me tell you, don't believe all you're told!
I code in binary, the language of twos.
So, baby, what've you got to lose?
And if you'd rather code as a team,
I can handle up to Base 16!

Compilin', code it till we get it right! DO-WHILEin', we can run it through the night. You're smilin'. Haven't you got work to do? Well tell me we can COBOL till the job is through. COBOLin'! COBOLin'! Do some COBOL with me.

COBOLin'! Data entry's not my style. COBOLin'! Don't delete me, open my file! You will say that you like it When we process, bit by bit. COBOLin'! COBOLin'! Do some COBOL with me.

COBOLin'! Baby, let me search your list. COBOLin'! I ain't got no floppy disk. COBOLin'! If you want to, we can ABEND; COBOLin'! Maybe we can start a trend. COBOLin'! COBOLin'! Do some COBOL with me.

COBOLin'! COBOLin'! Do some COBOL with me.